


Plants and Jedi and Other Annoying Things

by Millberry_5



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Apology Sex, Enemies to Lovers, Hemipenes, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sex, Xenophilia, because duros are reptilian apparently, dangerous flora and fauna, enemies to enemies and lovers really, mentioned Hardeen arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-11 19:33:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21470686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Millberry_5/pseuds/Millberry_5
Summary: The first time he had run into Kenobi, he’d considered the man a pain, but nothing out of the ordinary.After a few more exposures to Kenobi, he developed a healthy respect for the human.Then Hardeen happened. And he'd hated, then liked, Hardeen. Then he'd hated Kenobi-as-Hardeen.Once he'd escaped prison however, he was far more concerned with getting back into the business than chasing unprofitable revenge.When business means dealing with Kenobi again, however, Cad's not above trying to get revenge from the man who just ruined another one of his bounties, even if his method is a lot less murdery than usual.
Relationships: Cad Bane/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 199
Collections: Star Wars Rare Pairs Exchange 2019





	Plants and Jedi and Other Annoying Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shanlyrical](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanlyrical/gifts).

> For the lovely Shanlyrical, I hope you enjoy!

The first time he had run into Kenobi, he’d considered the man a pain, but nothing out of the ordinary. If you were a successful bounty hunter the Republic would eventually start throwing Jedi at you. That was just a fact of life. Even more so since the civil war started. And Cad hadn’t really cared about what it was about, there were no reasons for him to pick a side. He just worked for who could afford him. If anything, the war was good for business.

After a few more exposures to Kenobi, he developed a healthy respect for the human. It would be foolish not to, Kenobi was skilled. If he showed up to stop Cad, then neither came out of the encounter with a complete win. Kenobi made any job a challenge. Which made Bane groan or smirk in equal measure, depending on if he was feeling lazy or bored by the bounty of the week.

Then he heard that Rako Hardeen, whom he had considered mid-tier in bounty hunter pecking order (seemingly competent, but hadn’t pulled anything spectacular and tended to take different jobs than Bane, so also a slightly unknown variable), had killed Kenobi. He had spared half a thought of regret for never being able to see Kenobi’s face do funny things when Cad beat him ever again. Perhaps he had even felt a bit of hurt pride at someone with far less reputation killing Kenobi, instead of him. But he was a bounty hunter, and he knew how often people got killed and that this would, in the long run, make things easier for himself.

Almost immediately after, he got pulled into a job, from inside prison, of all places, and Hardeen had inserted himself into the job. Which was understandable. A chance to get out of prison and get paid almost immediately after? What bounty hunter wouldn’t? That didn’t mean he had to like it, though.

Towards the beginning, he definitely hadn’t. Had tried multiple times to get the other man kicked off the job. Hardeen had kept coming back, proving just worthwhile enough to keep around, much to his chagrin. Until Cad had gotten fed up with Eval and the other incompetents he was forced to work with.

Then Hardeen was a welcome companion. Overconfident behavior was reframed as recklessness from a highly competent man who was willing to gamble. Especially as higher-pressure situations came on and Hardeen kept rolling with the punches. Punching back harder, even.

And then the box.

Bounty hunters didn’t help each other. That wasn’t how their field worked. The bounty hunters’ guild itself was a delicate miracle of carefully maintained balance between a bunch of dangerous beings who decided it was better to give up some control to control other hunters somewhat. It worked on the premise that they would all do the bare minimum to keep some peace but no one needed to go further than that. Hardeen seemed to not get the memo. Or had chosen to disregard it for his own code of honor.

It reminded Cad of Fett a bit, to be honest. Especially when the people Hardeen saved, himself included, helped pass challenges later on. A good investment was how Fett would have justified it. Mandalorians.

Hardeen wasn’t too soft, though. As proven when he went to town on Eval. Slimy used hydrospanner deserved it. Cad was especially glad when it resulted in him in charge, Eval basically off the job, and Hardeen securely on the team. He thought that if they pulled off kidnapping the kriffing chancellor, then he would make sure to exchange comm codes with Hardeen and partner with him in the future. A good sniper was hard to come by. They usually specialized so much that they became incompetent in almost everything else.

Then those plans were derailed when Hardeen turned out to be Kenobi. Because of course he was. Cad had felt anger, pure undiluted rage like he hadn’t had to deal with in years, race through his body. He internally kicked himself at actually trusting someone. He was a bounty hunter, for kark’s sake! That fact didn’t change the grudge that made its boiling home in his gut, though.

He still wasn’t stupid enough to actually go out on a vendetta against Kenobi, though. No. As soon as he escaped prison again, alone this time, he laid low and slowly picked up jobs again, staying as under the radar as a bounty hunter could get and still make a living.

Although… revenge was tempting sometimes. Maybe he could invest in a few particular pieces of equipment. Start shifting his workload to show Kenobi what it looked like when he really fought jedi, made himself a hindrance to the whole karking order.

A soft alarm brought Cad out of his musings, and he opened his eyes to find that he had about five minutes before he was planning to come out of hyperspace.

If he calculated it right, he’d have ten minutes after that before his quarry exited hyperspace for its pitstop.

* * *

Fourteen minutes later, a Republic transport ship appeared on his radar as he floated in space. Jackpot.

Xanadu Blood was equipped quite well for boarding, thankfully. It had been well worth it to track her down and steal her back.

Once he’d overwritten the airlocks to latch on and board, Cad was faced with a rather disappointing guard.

Well, to be fair, a few seemed to be just regular maintenance crew members, but still. Everyone who came to greet him in the hanger was ridiculously easy to beat. If the money the Separatists were going to pay him for these schematics weren’t so good, he’d almost be disappointed with this bounty.

Cad made his way towards where the only secure vault on the ship was supposed to be.

A few hallways down from his destination, his gut pulled at him to duck. So he did.

He felt a surge of displaced air and quickly looked up, still crouched, to see who or what he had just dodged.

Kenobi. Of. Kriffin’. Course.

Once again in a non-Jedi outfit. But this time, unlike with the Hardeen mess, he had his lightsaber.

Kenobi charged as Cad growled and stood up, pulling out a blaster. He fired a few shots, which were deflected, before dive-rolling under Kenobi’s swing towards his back. He raised his blaster again, frustrated to see the damn Jedi already turned around and running at him.

Before he could fire another shot, he felt something connect hard with his stomach, pushing the air out of his lungs, and then he and Kenobi were tumbling backwards down the hall and through a door.

Cad distantly registered the elbow that had been their point of contact as they disconnected and he kept rolling.

Kenobi, the bastard, had stopped himself far beforehand, so Cad wasn’t surprised to see the man already standing as he tried to cough air back into his own lungs on the floor.

Didn’t stop Cad from growling as he tried to push himself up while watching Kenobi turn his back to him.

What? Little old Bane wasn’t good enough for Kenobi? Not enough of a threat now that he’d been tricked?

The door to the room closed and locked, nearby lights switching to red, all while Kenobi was still half-way across the room. So that explained what he was doing with his back turned.

Didn’t change the principle of the insult. Bane already was keen to take anything as an insult anyways.

Finally standing up as Kenobi turned back around and reignited his lightsaber, Cad finally registered the room they were in as an escape pod bay, all the low-range pods already open. Perhaps Kenobi still considered him a threat after all, he thought dryly.

Still wouldn’t change how badly Cad was planning to beat him.

“What’s wrong, Kenobi? Don’t think you can arrest me?” he drawled, finally standing enough to shift into a better stance for battle, “Looks like you’re hoping to corral me away instead. Don’t think you can beat me in a fight?”

“I was charged with a protection detail. Not a hunt. There’s no need to capture you. Perhaps the concept is too foreign for you?” Kenobi replied, voice taunting. Cad growled and tensed.

The air in the rest of the room grew tenser with him. They both stared at each other, waiting for any movement to signal the start of their next exchange.

In the end, Cad moved first. When the air started to get stifling like a high-smog day on Duro.

Kenobi smirked like he was expecting it, pompous Jedi, and charged diagonally as Cad moved forward, blaster firing.

Ducking and weaving, Kenobi closed the distance as they circled each other in mere moments. He brought his arm up to push Cad’s blaster hand to aim at the ceiling. Cad pulled it up and away, only to feel his wrist grabbed and stomach elbowed. Again.

Cad grunted and doubled over even as he felt his arm get twisted and his blaster get torn out of his grasp. He pulled his arm down and tried to throw Kenobi over his shoulder.

He only partially succeeded, Kenobi didn’t go down to the ground, but he did have to loosen his grip as he half-fell, half-slid around Cad.

Cad took advantage of the forced lapse and grabbed Kenobi’s arm back, reaching for the button to activate his electro-glove.

Kenobi apparently remembered it from the time with Ziro and quickly pulled himself away while doing what he could to push away Cad.

Kenobi also apparently remembered how unpleasant he had found the move, Cad thought, pleased.

Not as pleased as he was at their new distance, though. Cad reached for his other blaster. Fighting a lightsaber in close combat was never a good idea.

Before he could pull his blaster out of its holster, however, Kenobi had launched himself across the room and was landing a flying side kick in his gut. Again.

Why was Kenobi after his guts today? If anything, it should be the other way around, Cad thought, annoyed.

His back hit a wall that wasn’t quite as hard as he expected, which made it just short of jarring enough that he could reach out and grabs Kenobi’s tunics to bring Kenobi in for a punch before the man could disengage.

He was a bit startled at the piece of glass that appeared behind Kenobi’s head just in time for the man to hit it on his recoil. Not as pleased as he would have been for the extra damage as he realized what it meant.

Definitely not pleased as a mechanical beep sounded and the room he had been in quickly slid out of view in favor of the star field outside of the ship.

Kenobi sighed.

“well, this certainly wasn’t the plan,” he said, light in tone even if his breaths were a bit heavy. They were close enough that Cad could both hear and feel exactly how labored Kenobi’s breath was. The pod was too small to change that, unfortunately. Cad growled before reaching for his holster, only to find it frustratingly empty.

“Well, ya do seem to specialize in messin’ up plans,” Cad said, still growling.

“Do I? I think I would have called it your specialty, actually. Then again, I suppose you’re already busy with the kidnapping, remorseless killing, and other cruelties that make up your brand,” Kenobi actually had the gall to sound disappointed in him.

“And beating up Jedi, can’t forget that,” Cad drawled as he tried to subtly reach for the controls on his gauntlet.

“Don’t try it Bane. Or do you actually think electric shocks in a small, mechanical space like this will end well for you?” Kenobi said, scoffing. It was like the man wanted Cad to kill him.

“I don’t know, I think a duros might be a bit tougher than a human, if the situation calls for it,” he responded.

“And will the life-support systems be tolerating it better as well, then? The landing equipment?” Kenobi shot back, unfortunately sounding very reasonable. Cad growled. Again. What was it about Kenobi that always made him so growly?

“Fine. Guess I can wait a few more minutes to kill ya,” he said. Kenobi rolled his eyes.

“Indeed. I think we’re both capable of a ceasefire for the hour or so it will take to land. We’re lucky that this pod is equipped for dry landings, given we’re already trapped in the planet’s gravity well.” This time Cad rolled his eyes. Know-it-all Jedi.

Cad settled back against the wall, no intention of sharing the light padding, and adjusted his hat so the brim covered his eyes. And if it hit Kenobi along the way, well, he certainly wasn’t going to lose any sleep over it.

Although he was a bit tempted to sleep with the warmth the mammalian in front of him was giving out, especially coming down from a battle-high, despite still being on the job.

* * *

It made the hour an hour a bit more bearable as the went through the various pressure changes that came with escape pod landings. Also more bearable since Kenobi had decided, for once, to stop talking.

* * *

He and Kenobi both braced their arms against the walls as the escape pod touched down in a decidedly not-smooth manner, hands and arms brushing up against each other even as they tried to stay on their halves of the tiny escape pod. Oh well, at least it was a safer landing than others Cad had gone through.

Kenobi launched himself back and out of the pod as soon as the hatch opened. Making it across the clearing they had landed in (or maybe made?) before Cad could even attempt to step forward. Kriffin’ force user.

Cad dropped low as he stepped out of the pod, smoothly grabbing the back-up blaster in his boot, before leaving it at his side as he and Kenobi sized each other up from across the clearing.

Kenobi ignited his saber, leaving it at his side and pointed at the ground, much in the same stance as Cad.

Before either of them could do anything, however, a slight vibration shook through the area.

Kenobi automatically turned to the side and Cad followed suit, albeit without turning so much he couldn’t keep an eye on Kenobi as well.

Another vibration. Then another, then even more, getting closer together and stronger.

He saw Kenobi startle before the man was dashing across the clearing, back to him. Cad growled and lifted his blaster.

“Not the time! Run!” Kenobi shouted, darting past and grabbing Cad’s arm, dragging him along.

Cad chanced a glance back in time to see a line of massive elephantine creatures break through the tree line, two sets of tusks on each creature tearing up the foliage and ground in front of them. Cad turned his focus forwards and back to running.

Cad quickly found himself having to resort to his jet boots to keep up with Kenobi and in front of the stampede and seriously, how wide was this stampede? Kenobi had them running at a diagonal, but the herd was gaining on them and Cad still couldn’t see the end of its length.

Kenobi gave himself a burst of speed, putting distance between them before shouting “down here,” and suddenly disappearing, giving Cad only half a second to order his body to reluctantly follow the Jedi’s lead.

In the end, he was crouched under a rock overhang with Kenobi as the beasts thundered overhead, dislodging some sort of debris (dirt? Dust? Didn’t matter, actually) onto them.

In less than half a minute, they all passed over and Cad could feel the vibrations quickly losing their power.

“Well… This mission has been a smashing success,” Kenobi said, and Cad should have known the man wouldn’t be able to stay shut up for long.

Cad growled. Wait. No. That wasn’t him growling. He looked up.

A nexus. Of kriffin’ course.

“Isn’t your force supposed to warn you about this sort of thing?” he hissed.

“There are many living things in this jungle. It’s hard to keep track. And it only just noticed us, so it’s not like I could sense the danger of being hunted,” Kenobi hissed back.

Cad growled. What use was a Jedi, then?

He stopped growling however, as soon as he noticed the nexus tense in response. Kriff.

In the blink of an eye, the nexus was out of sight and howling. Kenobi grabbed his shoulder and started dragging him again.

“Run!”

A force push, Cad distantly registered as he continued to run, shaking off Kenobi’s grip and activating his jet boots again.

This trip was using way more fuel than he had counted on.

Despite having a fair bit of distance between them now, Cad continued to follow Kenobi’s path. The man would still be able to sense some kinds of danger, after all.

The nexus quickly gave up its chase after Cad flipped around and fired a few shots. And it tripped on what was either thin air or more of Kenobi’s force poodoo.

They didn’t stop until they had run a few more minutes, finally slow enough that Cad didn’t need to use his boots anymore. Cad could hear running water nearby.

He took quick stock of the situation, particularly his equipment and state versus Kenobi’s, and made a decision.

“Well, congratulations. You’ve stopped me from getting the bounty. Who knows how they’re going to do with protecting the plans without ya. I’m just gonna head on my way now,” Cad said, slowly backing away downhill, towards where he heard the water.

“Bane. That’s not a smart move. The mountains are safer here,” Kenobi said. Cad glanced at the barren caps in the distance scoffed.

“I think away from ya is the safest bet, actually. Not usually a fan of getting stampeded or arrested. And I usually prefer huntin’ to being hunted.”

Kenobi rolled his eyes, “whether you trust me and my luck or not does not change the fact that I researched this planet before my mission brought me to its moon. There’s a reason people chose to occupy the moon instead of the planet, after all.”

“Trust, huh?” Cad said, finally letting the outrage boiling in his gut spew over, “there’s quite a bit I don’t trust about ya, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I got no reason to trust your luck, or that this ain’t another elaborate prank to capture lil’ ol’ me, or whichever bounty hunter ya thought was comin’ for those plans,” Cad spat.

Kenobi had the gall to scoff. “Bane-”

Cad didn’t bother waiting for the karkin’ snake to finish whatever he was going to try to convince Cad into following his lead. Cad knew this wasn’t a set-up. Kenobi probably knew he knew as well. Didn’t mean Cad wasn’t sadistically pleased by the torn look the hypocrite gave him when he brought up the possibility.

He spent a few minutes walking, quickly finding the stream and following it downhill.

See, Kenobi? No problems. This was basic survival tactics. Sure, there were dangerous fauna around. That was just how most unpopulated places worked in the galaxy. Didn’t mean a bit of cursory research overrode finding an ample water source.

Cad couldn’t help but wonder, a few minutes later, if Kenobi’s bad luck had rubbed off on him as a bunch of plants released spores and then there was something wrapping around his leg.

Cad tried to grab his blaster and shoot at the – vines? Seriously? – that had wrapped around him and were currently trying to drag him through the underbrush.

Cad started sneezing as he was dragged through the spores now carpeting the forest floor in orange, finally managing to get his blaster and aim it.

Before he could fire, another vine grabbed his arm and started pulling him back, grip tight enough for him to drop his weapon.

Cad cursed as the vines played tug-of-war with him. Coughing as they dragged him back and forth through the spores before seeming to reach an equilibrium. Said equilibrium involved him being a meter off the ground and pulled in each direction equally, unfortunately.

To make everything worse, his vision started spinning and he felt his muscles start to relax despite the pull of the vines. The spores must have been drugging him.

Bane thought he saw another figure enter the area as he began to black out, still muttering curses.

* * *

When Cad opened his eyes again, he was on a small pad of leaves, on solid rock, with the sun setting overhead, lighting the sky up green and yellow.

He looked sideways to find his hat and a rudimentary camp, complete with firewood that Kenobi was attempting to light, a few steps inside a nearby cave.

Cad looked at the Jedi’s pathetic efforts for only a few seconds before giving up, grabbing his hat, and strolling over while putting it on.

Kenobi looked up at his approach, but Cad chose to ignore him in favor of activating his flamethrower and getting the kriffin’ fire going before the sun finished setting. He didn’t want to find out how cold it could actually get on this karkin’ planet, after all.

“You know, I usually considered you almost over-prepared, but if this is how your bounties usually go, I can see why you feel the need for so many tricks,” Kenobi said lightly. Casually.

Cad scrunched his nose in disgust at the almost friendly attitude as Kenobi took out some weird pieces of meat, lizards of some form, judging by the heads still attached, and started cooking them over the fire.

“Point of bounty hunting is to be doing well enough to complete the job. Sometimes that calls for flamethrowers, sometimes blasters. If it works, I’m not going to discard it. Ya think you can beat Dooku without an arm or something,?” Cad said back, lacing his voice with bored dismissal.

“It was a compliment, Bane,” Kenobi said, rolling his eyes.

“Not sure that’s a good thing, coming from a Jedi like you,” Cad snarked back.

“Does it matter? If it’s earned praise, why discard it?” Kenobi said, tone still light.

“Ain’t a fool. I discard things that are worthless,” Cad said, letting some real vitriol leak into his voice. Maybe a bit more angry than the disdain he would have liked.

Kenobi sighed and handed Cad a stick of lizard. He bit in with relish as Kenobi politely ate the meat in small, civilized bites.

Kriffin’ Jedi.

For unseasoned meat, the food was despicably palatable.

Kenobi somehow finished first, then decided that he needed to open his mouth again.

“The mountains, and therefore caves, are made of a mineral that kills nearly all plant life on this planet. The only animals that bother living on them are certain birds on the snow caps, as well as a few nexus populations at the base. We’ll be safe for the night and won’t be exposed to enough to cause any health issues,” Kenobi explained, like a karkin’ textbook.

“Of course, there are isolated patches of lichens on the mountainside, plus a few reported wildflower sightings in the rocks. Oh, if we stay up here for too long, though, over a week or so, we’ll likely experience headaches and minor nausea. A few groups of scientists went to study the lichens, and each had to cut their expedition short. The history of attempts to study this mountain for medical science is quite fascinating, if a bit duller than some other places,” Kenobi continued and did the man ever shut up?!

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. Your mouth is the most dangerous part about ya, lyin’ snake,” Cad said, distinctly uncomfortable and annoyed at Kenobi’s insistence on treating this whole situation like… like… well, like something he didn’t like.

Kenobi closed his mouth and stared at him in silence for a few moments, contemplating.

“You’re very angry, you know. It’s projecting in the force quite loudly.” Why yes, thank you, Kenobi. He was. He’d been ignoring that.

“I’ve been denied a bounty, trapped on a planet with random stampedes and tuggin’ plants, and now have to eat awful meals, all because of a deceitful Jedi with a penchant for getting’ in my way that I’m apparently stuck with for the night. Guess why I’m not happy, saber-brained senate dog,” Cad hissed, glaring across the fire. Kenobi rolled his eyes.

“You know, I’m still not sure why you’ve taken such offense to that whole fiasco,” Kenobi said.

Cad froze and moved his lizard-on-a-stick away from his mouth.

“Excuse you?” he growled, “Ya really don’t got a clue on why?”

“Well…” Kenobi seemed to roll a few words over his tongue before deciding which ones he wanted, “you’re a bounty hunter. A brutal, duplicitous, remorseless bounty hunter with no qualms about being so. I don’t understand why you’re so upset that I did something that you’d likely be willing to do as well.”

Cad tried to come up with a retort for that, but gave up and scoffed after three seconds, going back to his food. He, unfortunately, finished in another two bites.

“I’m serious, Bane. I didn’t think that it would be worth more of a grudge than the usual “you’re the bastard who sent me to jail”, but you’re clearly more upset than that,” Kenobi continued. Did the man ever shut up?!

“How the kriff do ya know I’m not just mad at ya for sendin’ me to jail, huh? I lost a lot of potential bounties because of ya,” Cad said.

Kenobi just raised an eyebrow before pointedly looking down at the lightsaber attached to his belt. Right. Karkin’ force users.

“You were… shocked. When I revealed myself. I recall that much. That’s easy to figure out. It felt similar to how you do when surprised. But there were other emotions that were much more foreign. If I had to name them, I might say you also felt hurt, disappointed, angry. Putting that together, one might say you felt betrayed, which I hadn’t experienced you feel before.” Kenobi had been on a mission where Cad had teamed up with another hunter who had technically betrayed him. Cad had considered it part of the hunt easily. Something expected.

Didn’t stop him from killing the twilek once he escaped capture.

Still, Cad wasn’t the sort to tell Kenobi this sort of thing. He scoffed instead, although he couldn’t bring himself to deny Kenobi’s conjecture.

“You also warmed up to me undercover quite a bit. From hating my guts in jail to treating me with much more interest and comradery than the other hunters,” Kenobi continued softly.

“Look. Just ‘cause ya were the most competent of the lot and actually decent to be forced to be around doesn’t mean…” Cad let himself taper off as Kenobi gave him a look, not quite pitying, possibly _sympathetic_, that communicated the man knew exactly how true Cad’s denial was going to be.

Kriffin’ force users. Cad scoffed.

“Fine. You win. Yes. I liked workin’ with Hardeen enough that I was gonna invite you to join me on a few future hunts. It kriffin’ stung when I found out you were just there to get me arrested. Happy now?” Cad spat. Kenobi sighed.

“No. I don’t like hurting people, Bane. I’m willing to bear that burden if that’s what it takes to prevent more hurt, but I don’t like it. I… I’m sorry I caused you distress. No one deserves to be betrayed. To have trust broken like that,” Kenobi’s voice may or may not have been wavering, and Cad wasn’t completely certain that the man was really talking to him, “I wish there was a way to ease that pain, but I’m afraid that I don’t know how to do that. Especially with you as a bounty hunter and me as a Republic Jedi,” Kenobi apologized.

There was something alluring about having the famed Negotiator using his lauded words to apologize to him. And Cad, well, he’d never claimed to be a good person. Only a good bounty hunter.

And he’d always been able to find most humanoids attractive. Kenobi-as-Kenobi was certainly easier on the eyes than Kenobi-as-Hardeen. He usually ignored that sort of thinking when on the job, but the job had already been ruined.

He’d never claimed to be a good person.

“Well, there is something I think ya could do pretty easily while we’re stuck here for the night,” Cad said, carefully calming himself down and drawing shields around his mind. He’d tried to learn after the last bout of senate-demanded Jedi interrogation. Hopefully it was working, “We’ve got some traditions on Duro. Ways of tradin’ and such, especially. Duros tend to solve a lot of problems through business. Apologies are included,” Cad said. Only the last part was a lie, so hopefully that wouldn’t be noticed.

“And how does one trade an apology, then?” Kenobi asked, brow raised in question. Cad let his mouth curl into a smile. He imagined it looked suitably menacing.

“Ya trade a bit of service for forgiveness. Between adults, there are a number of options for that,” Cad said, leering. Kenobi’s other brow joined its partner to give a truly entertaining look to the man’s face.

“I see,” he said, voice deceptively calm, “although I’m not quite sure how much I believe in that logic. Forgiveness usually involves working through the actual harm, does it not?”

Cad snorted. “It works for a Duros. I thought ya wanted to apologize, Kenobi. If ya won’t do that, though…” Cad trailed off, shrugging, flippant.

“No, no. I’m willing, just not used to such methods of thinking. If sex is what you need to heal, I’m perfectly able and willing to provide that. Provided we can do it safely,” Kenobi said.

Huh. That had been far easier than expected. Especially since most folks were prissy about sex. Cad wondered if this was a Jedi attitude or just more Kenobi weirdness.

In the end, it didn’t really matter.

“I’m clean, if that’s what you mean. You?” Cad responded, trying to still act somewhat unaffected.

“Of course. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been willing. That being said, I do not have lube and I’m not taking anything _that way_ without it,” Kenobi said. Which was a fair stipulation, Bane figured. Still, as overprepared as he was, he only rarely had lube on hunts…

Cad considered himself lucky to find a mostly empty bottle in the third pocket he checked. Why did he even- right. Had to give the gamorrean guards indigestion on his last hunt. This lube had the right amount some kind of paraben, mixed with glycerin to make sure the toxins stuck to their stomach walls.

“You’re in luck. Or rather, I suppose I am,” Cad said, letting a smirk grow on his face again.

Kenobi just snorted before getting up and snagging the bed of leaves from outside.

Kenobi reset the leaves down in the cave itself carefully as Cad quietly got up and walked around the fire towards him.

Kenobi turned as he approached and Cad responded by shoving him back into the cave wall, quickly following and kissing the other man harshly.

Cad used his tongue to push into Kenobi’s mouth, who allowed it. Cad had far less lip and much sharper teeth after all.

He broke the kiss and half-shoved, half-threw Kenobi down onto their only bit of padding. Since the man was actually following directions for once, it didn’t have as aggressive an effect as Cad wanted. Still, Cad lowered himself to straddle the other man, pausing a second to take off his hat and put it on a nearby rock.

Kenobi was already trying to shrug out of the jacket that was part of his civilian get-up. Cad let him before moving down and kissing the man again, harsher this time, nibbling a bit on the human’s naturally fuller lips, and trapping the jacket under the man now thoroughly pinned to the cave floor.

Cad backed off to take off his own coat, looking down at the man beneath him. Kenobi’s hair was lit up from the nearby fire, orange light making the orange hair look like it was on fire as well. There were already marks showing on Kenobi’s lips from Cad’s assault, including a few bits where he had broken skin and the drops of blood were glittering like rubies. Cad decided he like this look on the kriffin’ Jedi, especially beneath him.

Still, Kenobi could probably look better with a few more marks.

Cad unbuttoned and took off Kenobi’s shirt as he attacked the man’s neck, leaving behind more bites, a few bleeding.

Cad kept Kenobi’s arms pinned down, holding tight enough that he knew the human would bruise, and Kenobi didn’t fight any of it.

He growled at that. He had expected resistance, an excuse to really hurt the traitor. Kenobi was infuriatingly accepting. Cad snuck a leg between Obi-Wan’s and ground down, getting a sucked in breath and that was it.

Cad sighed and stopped, stopping in his goal of giving Kenobi more places to bleed from and sitting back up, still straddling Kenobi’s waist.

“You’re really just gonna lie there the whole time?” he said derisively. Kenobi just raised a brow and cocked his head to the side. Cad decided he’d get the Jedi’s composure to actually crack one way or another.

“I was trying to follow your lead. You seemed fairly intent on setting pace and actions, I guessed that this was how it usually went on Duro,” Kenobi said, voice still unflappable in its Coruscanti accent. Cad snorted.

“Sex is sex. Sex with a sex doll is masturbation. Not very polite to make me do all the work like ya ain’t even alive,” Cad said.

“Hmm. I suppose apology sex is more in line with actual sex, yes,” Kenobi said, a small smile making its way onto his face, “In which case, however, we’re both still terribly overdressed.”

Cad rolled his eyes only to regret it a moment later when the small distraction let Kenobi flip them, almost rolling Cad off the bed of leaves.

“I wonder,” Kenobi said, grin growing impish as he caught Cad’s hand started removing the glove on it, “do you make any distinction between sex and love-making?”

“Wouldn’t have taken you for a caring beau, Kenobi,” Cad said, letting a mocking laugh into his voice. He didn’t resist as Kenobi removed his other glove.

“I’ve done tender. I’ve done rough and tumble. What do you want?” Kenobi said, an odd emphasis on “you” that made the man sound disgustingly sincere.

“I think,” Cad growled as Kenobi undid his vest, “that I preferred ya bleedin’ underneath me.”

Kenobi laughed, a barking sound at the moment, and Cad took the chance to roll them back over to make sure just that happened.

He took off the vest and then his belt, including the connected breathing tubes and apparatus.

This time when he looked down, Kenobi was still smiling, which had let more blood flow from his lips, and there was a mirthful sort of twinkle in his eye. Cad was almost repulsed at finding the man somewhat cute.

Cad realized belatedly that Kenobi had gotten both of their boots off at some point, pointedly decided to ignore it, and removed the Jedi’s pants, not wanting to be the least dressed in this situation, the most vulnerable.

Kenobi continued to not fight him. Cad quickly fished through his belt again for the lube that he had forgotten and turned back to the man under him, who was still looking at him with that impish, almost jovial look on his face.

“So you want me active and under you, is it? I think I can manage that,” Kenobi said and, yeah, impish was definitely the word to describe him.

Cad rolled his eyes as he lubed up his fingers and slid one into Kenobi. Tight, but not as tight as he expected. A bit more stretching than he would prefer, than he would need for someone who actually did this for a living, but perfectly doable with enough attention.

Which Cad may or may not cut corners on.

Still, there would be a slight problem if Kenobi really kept such an unaffected expression on his face.

“Ya know, on Duro, the receivin’ partner would have started releasing pheromones by now,” Cad drawled.

“Ah. Is that necessary for you to… uh, because I don’t think I can do that sort of thing, at least not…” Kenobi trailed off and the negotiator being at a loss for words did give Cad a bit of satisfaction,, though not enough.

Cad snorted. “Pheromones aren’t strictly necessary, no. But I do need to be actually aroused to a certain level for the penises to come out. It’s just considered polite to help your partners with it,” Cad explained. That, at least, was true.

Kenobi hummed, thoughtful, face going blank and vaguely quizzical, even as Cad pulled out his finger and prodded Kenobi’s entrance with two.

“I get the feeling that you won’t get much out of me putting on a show with moans, unfortun- ah,” Kenobi cut himself off as Bane slipped both fingers into him. The surprise didn’t last long, however.

“Human males like ya got an erogenous point in here, don’t ya?” Cad asked.

“er- yes. Prostate. Takes a bit of stimulation, though. Mine’s… hm… little hard to describe actually. If you go a bit further and curl your fingers in and a bit right – my right – that should be about right,” Kenobi explained, still clinical and blank.

Cad sighed at the lack of emotion but tried to follow instructions. Kenobi was technically giving him a weak spot, after all, he’d be a poor bounty hunter to not explore it.

A few moments of essentially rummaging, Kenobi sucked in a breath sharply.

“Oh?” Cad asked, letting an ugly smirk grow on his face as he pressed back on the spot, watching Kenobi take a shuddering breath in through his nose.

“Yes, that would- that would be it,” Kenobi said, a blush starting to grow on his face as Cad tapped the spot.

Cad teased it for a few moments, and at the first whimper Kenobi gave, albeit smothered by the man’s closed mouth, withdrew his fingers.

Kenobi gave him a quizzical look that Cad ignored as he put a bit more lube on his fingers before returning with three.

He found the same area again and only had to search for two seconds before Kenobi let out a moan. And that actually made Cad feel arousal start to stir.

A minute more of teasing had Kenobi bucking his hips as he tried cling to the cave floor, a few more moans breaking from his lips.

“ya know, what, Kenobi? This is a pretty good look for ya. Fucking yourself on my fingers,” Cad said as he pressed down particularly hard. Kenobi just moaned in response.

Cad felt his penises come out and partially inflate at that, plus the sight of a few tears making their way out of Kenobi’s eye, glittering in firelight.

“but I think,” Cad said as he removed his fingers, reveling in the small whimper Kenobi let out, “that you’ve had enough prep time.”

He tore off his pants and spread Kenobi’s legs further, hooking them over his own to angle Kenobi’s hips better and get them closer together. He lined the right one up at Kenobi’s entrance and pushed in.

“Oh!” Kenobi exclaimed, “Are those… er, barbs?” he panted out.

“Yep. Never got how ya humans made so many of ya with something this smooth,” Cad said, stroking Kenobi’s cock where it was laying half-hard on the man’s stomach. It twitched at the motion, apparently more expressive than the man it was attached to, “seems hard to make sure everything worked properly if it can’t even grip anything.”

Kenobi laughed at that, though the laugh was half-hysterical from Kenobi being a bit overwhelmed sense-wise, he thought.

“I think we just have unusually high fertility rates, plus relatively small gestation periods, given our life-spans,” Kenobi conjectured, somehow still articulate as Cad continued to push in slowly.

Cad hummed and then, in retaliation, pulled most of the way out before slamming back in. Kenobi gasped at the move.

At least his barbs were all soft. Nemoidians had some stiff ones. A togruta had once described his as soft silicone bristles, which made the extra texture a fun bonus, ze had said.

“Ah. That is certainly… different,” Kenobi said, obviously struggling a bit to form words now. Cad counted it as a win and felt that, in combination with actually getting to fuck the Jedi, made his cock inflate and unfurl a bit more. The one not currently fucking Kenobi remained just aroused enough to stay outside his body, as it was supposed to.

Cad gave Kenobi the mercy a few shallow thrusts, so that this would actually be somewhat comfortable for himself, and then started moving with a bit of vigor.

After only a few, he could feel Kenobi moving back against him. The Jedi must have taken Cad seriously about being active in this.

At some point, he unfurled all the way, which gave him a bit more control than humans apparently got over their own equipment, and Cad used that to abuse Kenobi’s prostate again.

It was a good choice. Kenobi was surprisingly pretty at screaming.

Cad was also surprised to find himself equally invested in pretending they were screams of pain and in appreciating getting to actually make the Jedi come undone in such a vulnerable, but definitely pleasurable way.

Cad leaned over to give Kenobi’s knees a few bites in retaliation for the thoughts.

He only lasted a few moments with splitting his attention that way, however, as the extra pain seemed to ground Kenobi enough that he was quieting down, and Cad decided he really didn’t want a composed Kenobi again, not when he could feel himself losing control.

Cad readjusted their position to make it easier for him to slide in and out and picked up the pace. The rearrangement had the benefit of letting him see Kenobi’s face better. And hearing his moans better.

It was surprisingly arousing to see the Jedi who’d beaten him and ruined so many jobs actually enjoy being with him. Being under him.

Cad felt his other, waiting penis strain to not inflate too much in response.

As it was, it inflated enough to touch Obi-Wan’s balls in the new position.

Obi-Wan let out another surprised “oh” and lifted his legs more.

“Ya like bein’ played with, Kenobi?” Cad said, not quite managing to make a sneer out of the tease.

“That is how- ah!” Kenobi gasped as Cad wrapped a hand around his cock, “h-how my… anatomy… works…” Kenobi breathed out. He kept panting apparently unable to stop himself now. Cad rather liked that, as well as the blush that returned to Kenobi’s cheeks and spread to his ears.

He also, unfortunately was finally willing to admit to himself, rather liked Kenobi. Fighting against him was fun. Working with him, when not getting betrayed, was a lot more pleasurable than the business had been for a few years. If their truce banter was anything to go by, working not against Kenobi could also be fun.

If Kenobi was actually a bounty hunter, Cad would have tempted to do a trial run and then asked Kenobi to partner exclusively with him. Which was not something Cad had ever thought he’d consider. But he never expected a Jedi to pretend to be his own killer either.

Cad decided to ignore uncharacteristically optimistic what-ifs, because Kenobi was a Jedi and wasn’t likely to stop being one anytime soon, and focused on fucking Kenobi instead.

Cad renewed attention must have done _something_, because he had just been doing what he had been with thrusts and strokes, but suddenly Obi-Wan was coming and he was squeezing Cad like a Duros would to lock in their partner and then a few moments later that made _Cad _come.

“Kriff, kriff, kriff,” Cad muttered as he rode out his orgasm. He registered other sensations in what was probably at least a minute later. He looked down to see Kenobi, more calm than he had ever seen the man, looking up at him while propped on his elbows.

“it’s just the two, correct? I don’t want to be too sore for trekking down the mountain tomorrow,” Kenobi said, already composed, kriffin’ bastard. Cad sighed, resigned to being perpetually amused and annoyed at the man.

“Yeah, just the two,” he said, surprised a moment later when Kenobi launched himself up so that he was sitting, sliding down Cad’s lap before he could lower his legs to flat.

Like this, they were almost the same height.

“Good. Because you said active, but I’m afraid that really wasn’t as active as I usually am. I was thinking I could ride you this time,” Kenobi said, grin coming back, still impish, if a little softer.

Cad felt his left penis inflate a little more in interest even as his right retreated back into his body.

* * *

Later, after a truly mind-blowing orgasm, piece-meal cleaning supplies, and making sure the campfire was safely out. Cad found himself holding Kenobi close to him under their coats, having complained he was only in such a cold night because of Kenobi, so the kriffing mammal could, at the very least, share his heat with Cad.

They had finally settled comfortably when Kenobi decided he had to open his karking mouth again.

“You know, my master and I spent half a year on Duro when I was sixteen. There were some hutt operatives who had stolen some goods and blamed it on a few groups doing dishonest deals,” Kenobi said, casually as he might talk about lightsaber maintenance or whatever the Jedi did for small talk.

Cad froze at the new information. Then processed what it meant for Kenobi’s actions for the entire evening.

“You’re real kriffed up, you know that, Kenobi?” Cad said.

Obi-Wan snorted before responding. “What was your first clue?”

Cad rolled his eyes and just snuggled more into the warm body in front of him, too tired and content to sass the other back, and closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> (Psst. Fic exchanges are surprisingly fun :))


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